Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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