Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
