WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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