So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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