Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can Purell be used as lube?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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