Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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