I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
