You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
