the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
