He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
