I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How's work?
Spinning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
