if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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