You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
