Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
did you just send me my own nude
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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