just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
