You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
