Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
