I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
