IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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