Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
