I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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