A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
