Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
