just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
