i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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