sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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