ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
