Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
