Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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