I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
