I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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