I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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