it was like eating out sand paper
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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