She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
