I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
