I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
