when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
