So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he thought i was a dude.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
