just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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