you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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