i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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