Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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