If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
