she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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