forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
