Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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