her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
