Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
