Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize