Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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