the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
