Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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